Never before have i missed some Heinz or at least a McDonald's ketchup packet with my fries with as much intensity as I have this week. For starters, all you can find is this specific form of small packets. You must demand multiple of these before actually feeling satisfied and that you have enough of this precious substance to undertake the task of nourishment. Second, the sacred dressing is an odd perversion of the substance we've come to know and love. In Argentina, ketchup is not the accompanying, light-hearted condiment of our youth. It has been deformed into a bitter commodity with a sickly sweet aftertaste. To it, i can only compare the aftermath of a shot of tequila with a Capri Sun chaser.
On the other hand, Bounty would make a killing if they chose to exploit the shitty Argentine napkin market. As you read this, you may ask yourself: "How can you mess up napkins? I mean, it's paper, right?" Wrong! It is not just paper, it is so much more than that. Never before has it been a privilege to wipe my mouth. Never before have i needed to use three "napkins" to clean up a bit of spillage off the side of my plate. The situation is so dire, one can actually use the napkins to measure the level cachet of a restaurant. Often times, depending on the establishment, the restaurant will just have this abomination of a paper good out for popular usage but will bring you decent napkins with your meal. Others will leave you to your own fate.
I hope you will not consider it extraordinarily pretentious or hold it against me, if when i return to the states i cannot forfeit my newly found European habit of keeping Mayonnaise as my main garnish and cloth servilletes as a staple request at restaurants.
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