I had to write about this. I just didn't know any other way to express what I'm feeling.
It's amazing. This feeling... Amazing.
Thinking of all the possibilities that this opens for us now... it makes my eyes water. I mean, yes, I could go get married in Mexico City, or Sweden, or even Connecticut. But I am a New Yorker. I can marry in my city now. I have rights in my own city! Fuck! That's huge!!!
Before, I could go to Connecticut and get married and then come back and have my marriage recognized in NY, but how shitty is that? "Yeah, OK, we'll recognize it, but you can't do it here." C'mon! Being able to DO it in my city, the place I consider to be my home (even if I live abroad), it's an amazing feeling.
This whole thing is not about marriage for me. Andre and I have little interest in marriage. Our life is great as is, and sure, I hope we get married some day (Why not allow myself to be a romantic?), but it's not a goal we're working towards; It's something that will happen when the time is right and we want to do it. The reason this excites me so, is that I can get married.
'Can'. What a wonderful word. I have the ability to do 'x' action. Before this law, I was able to say: "I can go to the supermarket." or "We can leave the city for the weekend." or even "I can haz cheezburger." But, "Honey, we can get married whenever we want." was not a statement I could make and have it be true. It's that possibility. I'm freaking out over the fact that a giant obstacle has just been removed from our lives. A door has just opened, and there is no obnoxious sign at the entrance telling us what we can and cannot do due to our sexual orientation. This is a battle that I will no longer have to, someday, wage; And it brings me great relief.
And still, I can't and won't ever forget that there are people who don't want me to have this right. I don't think they're evil or anything melodramatic like that, but it makes me sad. The law now favors my community and I, but there are still those who will see and treat us like second class citizens, which is why we must continue to rally, to educate people, to reach out peacefully and openly to those who believe we are less, or wrong, or depraved, or sinners and help them see that we are people too. We too struggle with our lives, and love, and get angry, and get sick. And just because I love someone who has the same genitalia as I, it doesn't mean I support or will be involved in Pedophilia or Bestiality.
Today is Pride in NYC and I really wish I could be there. But since I can't, I want to wish all New Yorkers (gay or straight) a happy Pride. Because today, it's not about Gay Pride, it's about New Yorker Pride. Today, we are ALL New Yorkers. We ALL have the same rights (marriage, adoption, property) and that, if any, is a great reason to go celebrate on the streets of the greatest city in the world and let everyone know that love is stronger than hate.
Let people see our joy so that someday they can let go of their fear and hatred.
Happy Pride to ALL!!!!
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ReplyDeleteMarriage is a flower with petals on it, marriage is a hope of being new, marriage is flighty love upon the butterfly's wing…
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear about the marriage attitude of New York, and actually too many places in the United States. I have several friends in the same boat and I just don't understand it.
ReplyDeleteI just don't get why so many feel it's beneath their warped attitudes to care about who sleeps with who or who is in a relationship with who. It's the same with celebrities...everyone seems to be more concerned about who is with who and who is doing what rather than concentrating on their own deeds in their backyards.
Good luck to you, sir, and your companion. May you both be blessed in love and light and happiness. One day this will all change. It's frustrating, but you are better than all of this. Please keep your head held high.